The Inner Critic – and How to Befriend Her -

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Your inner critic is that voice inside your head that tells you, “You’re not good enough.” It’s the voice of doom, poised to tell you things are NOT going well for you right now.

“You’re not clever enough to learn how to invest – you’ll lose it all”

“You’re too stupid — you’ll never be good with money. Your money management skills are RUBBISH.”

This internal voice is YOUR voice. It’s your inner critic, and it’s mean. But why do you let yourself speak to you like that when you wouldn’t treat your friends in this way?

Actually, your inner critic can be used to your advantage to help you grow, rather than to hold you back. This is something I’ve struggled with myself, but I’ve learned some tactics to “befriend” my inner critic and find out what’s going on. It’s not always easy, sometimes she’s in there before I’ve even noticed and she’s running the show, but it’s important to be aware so that we can get better at managing it.

Your Younger Self, Your Inner Child

I’ve been doing some work recently on my inner child, and I think she is actually my inner critic. My younger self is often hurt by reminders from the past, which can hold me back if I let it. She’s trying to protect me (in a harsh way, but she doesn’t want me to get hurt again).

So as a result, I won’t put myself out there, or say what I want to say. I’ll neglect to put boundaries in place and will get really upset by other people’s comments.

Once you become aware of this, you can start to do something about it. This inner voice, which is holding you back, can cause damage to both your body, and your mindset and motivation. It’s really important that you understand this inner critic, your inner child, to stop it affecting you long term.

You’re Keeping You Safe

The first way to look at this, is how your inner critic exists to keep you safe. Your inner critic doesn’t want you to lose money, to make mistakes and get hurt. She doesn’t want you to be criticised, and ultimately, to be vulnerable.

She’s kind of like a warped (albeit well-meaning) best friend. While these “helpful” little snippets of input might come across as mean, it’s important to remember that she’s doing this to protect you from harm.

Name Your Inner Critic

So, give her a persona. Name her, think about how she might look and dress. (She might even be a sassy little 3-year-old with pigtails telling you what to do!) In doing so, you’re giving yourself a chance to call her out and be able to take a step back. In effect, you’re separating yourself from this persona you’ve created: Your Inner Critic.

When you do this, you get the opportunity to find out what she’s trying to tell you. For example, maybe you’re really nervous about a job interview, or you have to do something in your business WAY outside of your comfort zone. Anxiety sets in, and you begin to procrastinate. You suddenly think of all the reasons why you shouldn’t do the thing you’re thinking about doing. This is your inner critic/inner child, holding you back, keeping you safe from rejection or ridicule.

So, ask her. What’s she trying to tell you? If it helps, write it down. I’m a huge fan of talking to myself. It’s really empowering as it highlights and disarms those feelings which are manifesting inside. Alternatively, try journaling. Get your notebook out and write it down; just let it flow.

Ask the questions:

Why don’t you deserve to earn that much money?
Why can’t you invest?
Why can’t you save?
Why can’t you be the one to get that promotion?

Once you’ve got it down, you’ll see a lot of weird stuff on the page. Are they ultimately try statements? This is your inner critic going to town!!

Once you’ve got it all out, thank you your inner critic and say “I’ve got this”. You’re the adult here and you’re in control. You no longer need to believe your inner critic, but now you understand where she’s coming from (perhaps you already know where these limiting beliefs have come from in your past).

Then give her permission to go off and play and do something else. That might just be enough to give your inner critic the assurance she needs to shrug her shoulders, skip away and let you get on with what you need to do.

Other Techniques

There are other things you can do like emotional freedom techniques (have a search on YouTube for EFT tapping), or hypnosis to help clear these kinds of problems. Often, the inner critic is cultivated from a collection of past events, or things that people have said to you in the past. These criticisms return time and again in adulthood, and if we don’t address this inner critic voice, it’s going to become very destructive.

So, find what works for you. Whether that be journaling, EFT tapping, hypnosis, all of these techniques can help you to disarm your inner critic from doing further damage. You will set her free to go and be the child she needs to be, because YOU’VE got this.

You’re the one in the driving seat, so don’t allow her to take the steering wheel. If you do, 9 times out of 10 you’ll be going back round the roundabout, back home and back into the garage. Keep her next to you in the front as a passenger, or better still, strap her into the back of the car! Then you can drive forward and go in the direction you want to take.

Help with Money Mindset

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Take care for now,