November is the month of Talk Money Week, and in 2021, this starts on 8th November. This is hosted by The Money & Pensions Service in the UK (MAP), but I think the sentiment applies no matter where you are in the world.
There is a lot of evidence now to show that we could all do with some help on our wellbeing about money.
Money is a subject that many of us find difficult, especially when things are not going so well (but equally if they are going well and you’re scared of the judgement you might face with that).
This is why I do the work I do. My mission is to get more women feeling good about their finances to feel calm, confident and in control.
Why Talk About Money?
According to MAP, research shows that people who talk about money:
- make better and less risky financial decisions;
- have stronger personal relationships;
- help their children form good lifetime money habits;
- feel less stressed or anxious and more in control.
This is why talking about money is so important! The more we can share with each other, the better it will be for us all.
If you have children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews etc, then you can do your bit to help raise and eductate a generation of financially literate adults. It also helps you with your understanding, because teaching it is one of the best ways to practice good habits yourself.
How To Talk To Children About Money
When it comes to children, play gets the point across so well. I wrote a post on games you can play with children to help them to understand how money works that you should have a look at.
Children also learn by watching what their care-givers do around them, so if there are fights about money in the house, this can be very upsetting and distressing for a child to witness. We form a lot of our mindset about money before the age of 7, so how you do money in front of them will make a big impact on them as adults.
Money does not need to be an emotive topic, take some of the heat out of it and be honest with the small people in your life. Show them your bank accounts, your budget and your savings/investments. Encourage them to ask questions and help them to set up a system of their own like the jar method.
You could also tell stories. One book I highly recommend is Grandpa’s Fortune Fables by Will Rainey. The stories are really entertaining and memorable!
How To Talk To Your Partner About Money
Talking to partners about money is tricky. Each person brings their “stuff” about money to the table, and this can lead to friction, particularly if you both think differently about money.
Why is that people who spend often end up with people who hate spending?!!
Anyway, the trick is to be as honest as you can be. Eventually you need to come clean about debt or money problems, particularly if you’re together for the long-haul. I know this is now an easy conversation to have, but if your partner is a supportive one, they will understand.
Give yourself the space and time to have a money date together. Check in with eachother’s goals and dreams – do they match? Can they be blended to come up with something that appeals to you both?
Emotions can come up, so if you find it too hard to have the conversation head on, why not tackle it side-ways with a set of money habitude cards that help you to find out more about eachother’s money habits so you can compare where your strengths and weaknesses are. It helps you both to gain insight and perspective on why you do what you do with money.
You could also both do my sacred money archetypes quiz. Knowing your top money archetypes can help to open up conversations between the two of you in a non-threatening way. Plus it’s also fun finding out more about eachother!
How To Improve Your Self-Esteem Around Money
Having money conversations ultimately starts with you. Are you willing to have these conversations? Are you being honest with yourself about your own money situation?
The reason why coaching around money is so powerful is because it offers a useful window into how things are. Money is just a placeholder. We focus on the m-o-n-e-y, but it’s never about the money. It’s about the feelings and emotions we experience when we think about money.
It’s also about why we do what we do when we’re triggered. Stress, anxiety, FOMO (fear of missing out), FOTRO (fear of time running out), feeling less than “good enough” and comparisonitis are all reasons why we spend.
Building your own emotional wellbeing up will help you to have conversations without the unnecessary emotional attachments. We all have money blocks, so take time to work on your own feelings about money, and so much will change in your life.
You could start with something simple like a good book. There are all sorts of books out there to help you to do this. Check out this post with 10 of my favourites.
Talking about money doesn’t need to be hard work. If we all do our bit to focus on changing small habits about the way we do things, it will have a BIG impact down the line.
I’d love to know in the comments – do you struggle to talk about money? Have you had any big money conversations recently? How did it go? Do you have any tips for us!
Until next time,