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Our relationships can be the BIGGEST influence on the way we handle money. I remember spending every penny I earnt when I went shopping with my friends every weekend. We always encouraged eachother to buy ourselves things, and in that kind of social circle, it’s no wonder I ended up in so much debt in my 20s!!
But what about your partner? Did you know that money is cited as one of the BIGGEST reasons why people divorce? In fact, it’s number 3 on this list from 2016. It’s why knowing your partner’s money situation is so important upfront before signing on that dotted line! I spoke with one of my community members Natalie recently about this. It’s really interesting how money is treated so differently within relationships. I certainly learnt a lot from a relationship of mine in the past.
Our money personality type has a HUGE bearing on how we handle money – so can you imagine if yours clashes with your partner? In this piece, I want to explore how you could tackle this to get you thinking about your money relationship together.
The Money Personalities
If you haven’t met them yet, I highly recommend that you go and find out your money personality type in this quiz… and if you can, get your partner to do it too. It will be much easier, but if yours is like mine, and couldn’t care less, just guess. Then book a 15-minute call with me so we can talk about it in more detail!
There are 8 of them, and they all have their gifts and challenges.
People with a strong romantic personality have a desire to live life with ease and beauty. They would rather spend money to make life easier for themselves than struggle. They would think nothing of buying something “because I deserve it” or “I’ve worked so hard”. To outsiders, romantics look lazy, but romantics are just chilled and going with the flow. Life doesn’t have to be complicated!
These personalities are highly ambitious and quite literally want to rule the world! They progress highly in their careers and business and don’t know when to switch off. They will work instead of play, and any money they earn tends to be re-invested back into the business or into something “practical”. They will often move the financial goal posts they set for themselves, not stopping to celebrate their success. There is never enough money for a ruler!
As the name suggests, these are the bean-counters of the group. They pay attention to detail and are extremely good at being frugal. You won’t see an accumulator in debt, as they HATE the idea. They are very good at savings, and if you want to make sure you’re not being ripped off, take an accumulator shopping with you and they’ll sort it out!
This is my top archetype, and I can honestly say that it is totally true! Mavericks are financial risk takers – they are happy to spend on the hope of a decent pay off at the end of it. Investing, starting a new venture, jacking it all in to go travelling around the world, whatever – the maverick is IN! It does mean that they put themselves at risk though, and may end up in stressful financial situations of their own making.
These lovely people are in it for everyone else. They love to give to others – time, money, attention… whatever, they just give! The problem with this, is that the nurturer can leave themselves short financially because they give away so much all the time. They are naturally good with money, but it’s for everyone else, not themselves.
As you can imagine, celebrities love the glitz and the glam. If it says VIP or exclusivity on it, they’re on it! While this is not a bad thing, it is if a celebrity is using credit cards to fund this lavish lifestyle. It’s about status for a celebrity – they need to look like they are doing well, regardless of the state it leaves their finances.
Connector personalities love people. They would be very comfortable with networking and cheering others on in their career or business. They don’t really “do” money though. They’d rather bury their head in the sand than manage money. It’s kind of a love/hate relationship. They know it’s important, but would rather someone else did it for them.
If you know someone who just seems to be able to “magic” up money whenever they need it, then they will definitely have alchemist somewhere in their profile! Alchemists “fly by the seat of their pants” and rely on hoping and praying rather than actually sorting out their budgeting! Alchemists see money as “icky” – it’s something that will corrupt rather than be a force for good. Alchemists would rather do anything BUT manage their money.
Which One Are You?
This is just a flavour of the money personality types – the best experience is when you get yourself some coaching, taking a much deeper dive into the archetypes and how they impact on your life, career, money, business, relationships – EVERYTHING!! Once you can see the strengths and challenges of your personality type, you’ll be much more likely to stick with a way to manage your money that works FOR YOU.
So which one are you? And how do you think this impacts on your relationship?
If Your Partner Is Different
This is probably the most obvious clash. Often one person in the relationship is frugal, and the other is a spendthrift. They say opposites attract afterall!
I’m in one of these relationships. My other half is an accumulator, and I’m a maverick. I take risk, he doesn’t. Has it caused arguements? Yes of course – often he will put the break on something to analyse it first, whereas I’ll just go in headfirst and analyse later. It’s why I’m still paying off debt and he has incredible savings.
So what do we do? I wouldn’t ever pool my money with his (I don’t trust myself and I don’t want that kind of dynamic in our relationship) – so we keep it separate. We have a joint account that we put money into to cover our bills and food shops. This means there are no arguements when I want to buy yet another personal development course or dress!
The bottom line is, embrace your differences, don’t get stressed by them. It’s probably what attracted you to eachother, so be mindful of eachother’s approaches and learn!
If Your Partner Is Similar
You may have noticed that both you and your significant other are highly similar to one another, but trust me, there will be subtle differences. This is often apparent in your scoring, so when you do the quiz, look out for how much you score in each type.
The problem will arise if BOTH of you have archetypes that don’t want to manage money at all. If you’re both chilled out about it, then nothing is going to get done. So in this situation, either one of you will need to step up, or you’ll need to outsource it to a financial adviser/planner.
If you’re both workaholics, you’ll need to spot eachother and encourage down-time and holidays. Make space for this in your life, otherwise you’ll both just keep working!!
And if you both love to spend, you’ll need to put some boundaries around it. Perhaps try the joint account idea, and have a pot for date-nights and spending. Upfront planning and honest communication are absolutely essential!
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So there you have it – a quick whistle-stop tour of the money personality types and how they might impact on your initimate relationship. Bear in mind that this may also have an impact on other relationships too – your kids, other family members, colleagues and friends. See if you can guess what someone’s archetype is when you meet them and look at how their decisions may be influenced by their money personality type!
Until next time,
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